What should I do now?

The problem with being frustrated with my weight is that I get a bit manic about it.  I decide I'm going to "do something" and then I make these huge lists and put a plan together that I follow for maybe 24 hours.  This time - even though I am still manic - I am going to put my action plan together on a daily or weekly basis.  I am hoping that this will help me change my lifestyle.  (I did do Weight Watchers a few years ago, lost 20 lbs, and then completely fell off the wagon because I couldn't maintain the discipline for forever - more on that down the road)

I just read an  article on improving your digestive system.  While I don't think I can commit to all of these steps now - I do plan on:

1.  Taking a fish oil supplement daily
2.  Trying to reduce my dairy intake (which is not a lot to begin with - but I do love my Chobani)
3.  Trying to reduce my gluten intake (I need to educate myself more on this as I honestly don't know enough about it to determine what to eliminate).  Does this mean I can't eat that Ezekial Raisen Bread I've become very fond of?
4.  Drinking 90 ounces of water a day. (this isn't in the article but I've read a lot on this subject and this really shouldn't be that much of a challenge - note, this has been on my list of goals for months now :-)

Ladies night out tonight - wish me luck.  Maybe if I drink a glass of water in between my cocktails I'll get to 90 oz!

Note:  I don't really know what I'm doing when it comes to blogging, so if anyone ever discovers this blog - please bear with me.  Hopefully by the time I'm "discovered" on the internet I'll have a clue!

My motivation

I'm tired.  Tired of feeling fat, looking fat, surfing the internet for the quickest way to lose weight....tired of not fitting into my clothes, tired of not wanting to go out in public, tired, tired, tired.....

These are just weight related reasons I'm tired.  I'm also a working mom of two kids.  Juggling a travel schedule for work, my kids school and recreation schedules and all that goes with running  a household -  leave me collapsing into my bed each night - just to get up and do it again the next day.

I decided to start this blogging after reading Half Assed, a weight loss memoir, by Jennette Fulda. http://halfassedbook.com/  I'm not trying to sell you her book (let me interject right now that at no point in this journey will I be trying to sell you something)  - but I feel compelled to explain to you (or myself) why I'm suddenly writing these thoughts down on the internet.

I'm not comparing myself to Jen (aka - the pastaqueen) in any way.  I don't have half my body weight to lose, I'm not single....I'm not a writer.  I just related to her.  She talks about being addicted to sugar, being embarassed to go out in public, and how difficult it is to lose weight.  Even though my goal is to lose 30 lbs...which to someone who needs to lose 100 doesn't seem like much....to me, now in my life, it seems impossible.

Being 30 lbs overweight has changed my life.  It's changed me.  I'm depressed, I hate going out, I'm embarassed.

So....what's the point of the blog?  I need to start somewhere.  Reading about dieting isn't helping me.  I need to put a plan in action.  This blog is step one.  I don't know what step two is yet - but if I can take a step (however small it may be) each day - I hope to find myself in a much better place (emotionally and physically) sometime in the near future.